He believed that even with all the hatred he harbored in his heart he would somehow get into the kingdom of heaven. 

Sara felt her life was like a Saints game—everytime she got ahead, she fumbled. 

 The year that seemed like one very long day was nearing its end. 

They watched their tabloid tv president and forgot that his antics had real-world effects.  

The world constantly took one step forward, promptly fell over, rolled down the side of a mountain, slid through raw sewage, landed in a broken-glass-strewn field filled with stinging insects and cactuses, slowly got up, and then took two steps backward. 

Every morning the old man put on a suit, tie, and fedora and slowly walked through his neighborhood just so the kids would know what true style looked like. 

Even the lowest of creatures understood the power of coercion.