Tuesday, June 30, 2015

He yearned for the return to a time in politics when obese men with long beards was the norm.

Monday, June 29, 2015

When the banks closed we began to barter and when we ran out of things to trade we turned to banditry.

Sunday, June 28, 2015

Saturday, June 27, 2015

Friday, June 26, 2015

Time seemed to be accelerating at an ever increasing pace, except at the DMV. 

Thursday, June 25, 2015

Ike left the numbers racket and went into insurance after he realized there was more money in the legit business of selling suckers the same line he always had.

Wednesday, June 24, 2015

The band "Cop Killers" began to question their choice of names after constant police harresment on their first nationwide tour. 

Tuesday, June 23, 2015

Monday, June 22, 2015

Hubert's pretty speechifying got him elected mayor, but once in office the promises he'd made drifted away like the smoke from his ever-present cigar. 

Sunday, June 21, 2015

Friday, June 19, 2015

Exiled to the outer reaches of the empire, I had nothing but time to plan my revenge.

Wednesday, June 17, 2015

Bill's career finally took off when he realized people were less frightened of sad clowns, especially the kind with a tendency to break down in tears while making balloon animals. 

Monday, June 15, 2015

Sunday, June 14, 2015

We saw the writing on the wall, but then it was a chalkboard, so that made sense.

Saturday, June 13, 2015

Friday, June 12, 2015

The narcoleptic gondolier often found himself and his frightened passengers miles out to sea.

Thursday, June 11, 2015

Linda was about to drop one bombshell of a story in the lap of a washed-up reporter who cared more about cocktail hour than beltway politics.

Wednesday, June 10, 2015

Pat realized her tendency to procrastinate was tied with her love of high-pressure situations.

Tuesday, June 9, 2015

The day after Dave finished his novel he felt as if he had awoken from a year-long dream and was once again faced with the humdrum ins and outs of reality.

Monday, June 8, 2015

Snot running down my nose, tears blinding me, I ran wildly from the game I had singlehandedly lost for the team.

Sunday, June 7, 2015

Matt turned the memories of his miserable job into a money-making sitcom idea.

Friday, June 5, 2015

The volcano finally spoke its peace after two millennia and it was a terrible tale it told.

Wednesday, June 3, 2015

It turned out the Devil they knew wasn't any better than the one they didn't know.

Tuesday, June 2, 2015

He went from law school to culinary school to clown college to driving class.

Monday, June 1, 2015